Couples · Individuals · Families

You don't have to stay stuck in the same painful cycle.

When connection feels distant, every conversation can turn into distance, defensiveness, or silence. Therapy helps you slow that cycle down — so you can hear each other again, feel close again, and build a bond that actually feels secure.

Request an appointment → How EFT helps

Emotionally Focused Therapy Relational approach Sex therapy woven in Matthews, NC

A couple holding hands and turning toward each other during a therapy session, with their therapist listening nearby

“Are you there for me? Can I reach you when I need you most?”

THE QUESTIONS UNDERNEATH ALMOST EVERY ARGUMENT — AND WHERE OUR WORK BEGINS

Couples TherapyRebuild trust & closeness

Individual TherapyUnderstand your patterns

Family TherapyStronger bonds at home

Sex & IntimacyTalk openly, without shame

Services

Therapy that starts with the relationship — not blame.

Whether you come as a couple, on your own, or as a family, we look at the patterns between people, the emotions underneath them, and what each person truly needs to feel safe and close.

Couple in therapy learning to turn toward each other instead of away

01 — Most requested

For partners at any stage

Couples Therapy

For couples who love each other but keep hurting each other — the same fight on repeat, growing distance, a breach of trust, or feeling more like roommates than partners. Using Emotionally Focused Therapy, we map your negative cycle together and build new ways to reach for each other.

In our work together, you'll learn to recognize the moment a conversation starts to go off track, understand what you and your partner are each feeling underneath, and practice responding in ways that bring you closer instead of pushing you apart. Whether you're dating, engaged, newly married, or have been together for decades, couples therapy offers a supportive place to rebuild trust, deepen emotional connection, and create a relationship where both partners feel heard, valued, and secure.

Break the pursue–withdraw and criticize–defend cycles
Repair after conflict, disconnection, or betrayal
Communicate needs without it becoming a fight
Feel chosen, prioritized, and emotionally close again

One-to-one, at your pace

Individual Therapy

You don't have to be part of a couple to work with me — many of my clients come entirely on their own, and individual therapy is a core part of this practice. Whether you're facing anxiety or depression that won't lift, grief or trauma you're carrying quietly, a major life transition, or simply the sense that something needs to change, this is a steady, confidential place to understand yourself and move forward.

Your relationships — past and present — shape how you see yourself and what you expect from others. Individual work helps you understand your own attachment patterns, heal old hurts, and show up in relationships with more clarity and confidence. You don't need to be in a relationship, or in crisis, to benefit — if something in your life feels heavy, stuck, or out of alignment, that's reason enough to start.

Anxiety, constant worry, and overwhelm
Depression, low mood, and loss of motivation
Attachment wounds and repeating relationship patterns
Grief, trauma, and difficult life experiences
Boundaries, self-trust, and emotional regulation
Life transitions, dating, and partnership decisions

Parents, teens & adult families

Family Therapy

Families get stuck in cycles too. When home feels tense, disconnected, or constantly on edge, family therapy creates a calmer way to talk, listen, and repair — so everyone feels more heard and more secure.

We look at the patterns playing out between family members — not to assign blame, but to understand what each person needs and how you can respond to one another differently. Whether you're navigating parenting challenges, a difficult transition, or ongoing conflict between parents and children, this work helps your family build stronger communication, restore trust, and become a more supportive, secure base for everyone at home.

Parent–child conflict and disconnection
Blended families and major transitions
Communication that doesn't escalate
Rebuilding trust and warmth at home

A couple holding hands closely while walking together, a symbol of physical and emotional intimacy

04 — Integrated into care

Warm, direct & shame-free

Sex Therapy & Intimacy

Physical intimacy and emotional intimacy are deeply connected. When desire differs, sex feels distant, or it's hard to talk about what you want, we make that conversation safe. Sex therapy is incorporated thoughtfully into couples and individual work — never rushed, always respectful.

Changes in desire and closeness are common across a lifetime — shaped by stress, health, life transitions, and the state of your relationship itself — and they don't mean something is wrong with you or your partner. Together, we explore what's getting in the way, help you talk openly about needs and boundaries without shame, and work toward a physical connection that feels close, mutual, and satisfying for both of you.

Mismatched desire and loss of physical closeness
Difficulty talking about sex, needs, or boundaries
Reconnecting physically after distance or hurt
Shame, anxiety, or avoidance around intimacy

Issues I treat

Support for what you're carrying

Alongside relationship work, I help clients facing anxiety and depression — and many of the life experiences that come with them. Whatever brings you in, we'll look at it together, at a pace that feels manageable.

Anxiety

Constant worry, racing thoughts, tension, and the feeling that you can never fully relax — including anxiety that shows up most in your closest relationships.

Depression

Low mood, numbness, loss of interest, and pulling away from the people you love. You don't have to carry it alone or wait until it gets worse.

Divorce & discernment

When you're unsure whether your marriage can heal — or you're already navigating separation — therapy offers a thoughtful, unhurried space to get clear about what you want and what comes next.

ADHD

Challenges with focus, organization, and follow-through — and the frustration, shame, and conflict they can create for you, your partner, or your family.

Parenting struggles

Feeling overwhelmed, disconnected from your child, or at odds with your co-parent about how to respond. Support for the hardest and most important job there is.

Trauma

Painful experiences — recent or long past — that still shape how safe you feel in your body, your relationships, and the world. We go gently, and you stay in control of the pace.

Grief & loss

The death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or another loss that has changed your life. Grief has no timeline here, and there's no “right” way to move through it.

PTSD

Intrusive memories, hypervigilance, and avoidance after overwhelming events — approached with care, steadiness, and respect for what you've lived through.

Sexual abuse

Healing after sexual trauma or abuse, including its effects on trust, intimacy, and how you feel in your own body. Your pace and your boundaries always lead.

Perimenopause & menopause

Mood changes, sleep disruption, shifting desire, and identity questions during this transition — and how all of it affects you and your relationship. You deserve support through this season, not just endurance.

Don't see your exact concern listed? Many of these experiences overlap, and you don't need the perfect words for what you're facing to reach out. Request an appointment and we can talk through whether working together is a good fit.

$Portrait of Katie Stenmark, LMFT, smiling — therapist and owner of The Secure Relationship Center, PLLC$

Katie Stenmark, LMFTLicensed Marriage & Family Therapist · Owner

Meet your therapist

Hi, I'm Katie Stenmark, LMFT.

I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the owner of The Secure Relationship Center, PLLC in Matthews, NC. I work with couples, individuals, and families who want more than just coping strategies — they want to feel truly connected.

My work is grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), one of the most researched approaches for couples. Instead of treating either partner as “the problem,” we look at the cycle you get caught in together — and change it together. I also incorporate sex therapy, because emotional safety and physical closeness strengthen each other.

In session, you can expect warmth, honesty, and a steady pace. I'll help you slow down the moments that usually speed up into conflict, name what's happening underneath, and practice reaching for each other in new ways.

Relational first

We heal in relationship. The bond itself becomes the place where change happens.

No one is the villain

The cycle is the problem — not you, and not your partner. That shift changes everything.

Emotion as information

Anger, shutdown, and tears all point to deeper needs. We learn to hear them, not fear them.

Whole-person care

Emotional, relational, and physical intimacy belong in the same conversation.

“Underneath almost every painful pattern is a longing to feel close, valued, and secure. Therapy helps that longing be heard — and answered.”
— Katie Stenmark, LMFT, The Secure Relationship Center, PLLC

The approach

How Emotionally Focused Therapy works

EFT doesn't teach you to argue better. It helps you understand why you react the way you do — and creates new experiences of closeness that rewire the pattern. Tap each stage to explore.

See the cycle clearly

Most couples aren't fighting about the dishes, the phone, or being late. They're caught in a loop: one person protests the distance (often louder), the other protects against overwhelm (often quieter) — and each person's protection triggers the other's fear. In this first stage, we name that loop together so it stops feeling personal and starts feeling changeable.

Identify your trigger moments and typical moves
See how both partners' strategies make sense
United against the cycle — not against each other

A gentle check-in

Does this sound familiar?

Check anything you've noticed lately. This isn't a diagnosis — it's a starting point for reflection, and a helpful thing to bring to a first session.

We have the same argument over and over, even about small things We feel more like roommates than partners When I reach for my partner, they pull away — or vice versa After a fight, it's hard to repair or feel close again Physical intimacy has faded, or feels hard to talk about Trust has been shaken and we don't know how to rebuild it

Your reflection will appear here

Select a few items on the left. You'll get a short, plain-language reflection you can copy into your appointment request below — no scores, no labels.

Getting started

What to expect

Starting therapy can feel vulnerable. Here's how it usually unfolds, so there are no surprises.

Step one

Request an appointment

Use the form below, call 980-272-8701, or email katiestenmarktherapy@gmail.com to share what you're hoping for and who will attend.

Step two

First sessions: your story

We talk about your history, your current cycle, and what a more secure relationship would actually look and feel like for you. Couples work often includes a mix of joint and individual check-ins early on.

Step three

Ongoing work, real change

Sessions focus on live moments — slowing them down, reaching underneath, and practicing new responses together — so change shows up at home, not just in the office.

Fees & insurance

Clear, upfront pricing — no surprises. If you have questions about coverage or payment, just ask when you reach out.

Individual therapy

$130

Private pay, per session for one-to-one therapy.

Couples & family therapy

$150

Private pay, per session for couples and family therapy.

Insurance

Aetna accepted

BCBS: pending — please check when you contact the practice. Private pay is also available for all services.

Common questions

Questions people ask before starting

It's common for one partner to be more ready than the other. What matters most is a willingness to be curious about the cycle you're in together. Many hesitant partners engage once they see the focus is on the pattern — not on taking sides.

EFT is a structured, research-supported approach built on attachment science. It helps partners understand the emotions and needs underneath conflict, express them in ways a partner can actually hear, and build a more secure bond. Think: less “who's right,” more “how do we reach each other?”

Talking about sex can feel vulnerable, and we go at a pace that feels respectful and safe. Sex therapy here is talk therapy — exploring desire, closeness, communication, and any shame or anxiety around intimacy. It's woven into the broader relationship work, so physical and emotional closeness are addressed together.

Yes. Individual therapy can help you understand your own patterns, get clearer about your needs and boundaries, and change your part of the cycle — which often shifts the whole dynamic. If a partner wants to join later, we can talk about how to transition.

Families in many forms — parents with children or teens, blended families, and adult family members working on their relationships. The focus is on communication, repair, and helping each person feel more secure at home.

Just yourselves. If it helps, jot down: when the cycle tends to show up, what you've already tried, and what you'd most like to feel different. The reflection tool above can also help you put words to it.

Private pay is $130 per session for individual therapy and $150 per session for couples and family therapy. Payment details are confirmed when you book.

Yes — I accept Aetna. Blue Cross Blue Shield (BCBS) is pending, so please mention your plan when you reach out and I'll let you know the current status. Private pay is also available if you prefer not to use insurance.

The Secure Relationship Center, PLLC is located at 211 W. Matthews St., Suite 205, Matthews, NC 28105. You can call 980-272-8701 or email katiestenmarktherapy@gmail.com to get started.

Request an appointment

Ready to feel more secure — together?

Tell me a little about what you're hoping for. Use the form to build a request you can email directly to me, or simply call or email — I'd love to hear from you.

Katie Stenmark, LMFT · The Secure Relationship Center, PLLC

Phone980-272-8701

Emailkatiestenmarktherapy@gmail.com

Office211 W. Matthews St., Suite 205
Matthews, NC 28105

Fees & insuranceIndividual $130 · Couples & Family $150
Aetna accepted · BCBS pending · Private pay available

Who I see: Couples, individuals, and families.

How I work: Emotionally Focused Therapy, relational therapy, with sex therapy incorporated.

What happens next: After you send your request, I'll follow up about fit, scheduling, and next steps.

Need support right now? This website is not for emergencies. If you or someone you love is in crisis or unsafe, call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, US), call 911, or go to your nearest emergency room.